She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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