Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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