I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
