ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
