yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
