There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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