dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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