he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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