You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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