he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
