someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
