I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
