why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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