My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
