hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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