where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
