plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
