sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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