my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
