After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
