Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize