Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
