I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
