She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
