I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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