it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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