Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
