so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
ttyl tear gas
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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