I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
