So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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