Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
