make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
