sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
