You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
