I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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