If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
