He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
