im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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