I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
