During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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