loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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