you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize