I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
