i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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