my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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