Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I AM VODKA MAN
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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