I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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