No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't turn off my feet"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
