I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week