if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
