I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
