this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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