My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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