I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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