Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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