I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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