I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
