Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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