Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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