Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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