we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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