i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
