was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
