HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
