I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize