I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
