I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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