She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
